I have come to the conclusion that just as you can be addicted to things like alcohol, gambling, exercise and food, so too can you be addicted to barriers.
Like someone who is addicted to food where food becomes the thing that creates comfort, peace and security in her life. Many people are so comfortable living in a world where they set up real or perceived barriers to everything. They will spend the majority of their life never getting anything of any significance done . You will never achieving the results they claim to want. You need to be strong to face barriers
When it comes to my work, the primary goal of many of my clients is to get paying clients. Okay, so this is not what they say their goal is to be strong. They say their goal is to help people, have a great lifestyle, make tons of money without working too much, etc. But getting paying clients or customers is really the only way this is going to happen; so, we’ll start there to be strong.
Logic tells you that if you really need some paying clients right now. This is exactly where you will put your time and energy – on getting paying clients. But this is not what they spend their time on. They spend time on setting up a pretty blog, playing on Twitter. And other social networking sites, writing articles, designing programs without doing any research or testing. If they would work or anyone would actually pay them for it. Trying to model other people who are completely different and have totally different audiences than they do.
Useful Information To Be Strong
All of these tasks that seem like reasonable things to do when you have a business provide them with endless barriers. Put them off getting paying clients for months and in some cases years. They hem and haw over where widgets should go on their site, perfecting scripts for videos. The different article directories to use, how to make the best lists in Twitter to be strong.
- Picking a niche that has little or no chance of succeeding. How to match their business cards with their website, logo design, elevator pitches, blah blah blah.
- It’s exhausting and really quite sad. I can’t begin to count the number of people who have set up entire businesses and put every last thing in place. Finally got out there they realize nobody was going to pay them for this service.
- Can you imagine how much money is lost when you operate like that? But, when you get your energy from the barriers you create rather than the results you pretend you want.
- My theory is that it all comes down to the fact that people really have no idea what is important to them. Or, even if they do know they won’t admit the hard core truth about it. This is true in business and every area of life to be strong.
Some Examples To Be Bold In difficult situations
1) 40 year old single woman who works for one of the top companies in the world. She talks incessantly about how she wants to do more and make more money and how important this is to her. Yet not only has she been in the same exact position for 4 years. She has never once let anyone else in the company know that she wants to advance or take on more responsibility. And has never look into the unbelievable educational opportunities offered by the company including tuition reimbursement. Aside from showing up on time never done one thing to show that moving up. Making more money in her career is the least bit important to her.
2) 45 year old overweight and out of shape father of 2 who has a job he loves and a family he wants to spend more time with on a regular basis. He says getting healthy and spending more time with his family are the most important things to him right now. But, he hasn’t work out in months and instead of spending time with his kids when he gets home. He sits and watches TV or works on his computer in his office. If you were an outsider looking in, what would you say is most important to him?
3) 35 year old mom-preneur who has a husband who makes more than enough money for their family to live on quite well. She says growing her business is the most important thing for her this year. Last week while her kids were at school. She had all the time need to work on bringing more clients and money in the door she went shopping with her friends, got a massage, edited her website, trolled. Internet for some interesting blog posts, watch a few TiVod episodes of Millionaire Matchmaker and figured out. It is really cool new scheduling software, no doubt so could plug in all of the appointments she’s likely to never get.
Here Are A Few Examples To Be Strong
1) 40 year old single woman who works for one of the top companies in the world and says that moving up and earning more is her main priority. She tells her boss that while she is really happy in her job. She would love to move up in the company and asks for some advice. When he shuts her down (probably a little territorial issue) she finds another person in the company she can talk to.
2) She does NOT let her boss become a barrier to her. Goes to HR and asks about educational opportunities. She enrolls in a course that will not only allow her to improve her skills for her current job but makes her more marketable for higher level positions as well. When she realizes that this course conflicts with her girl’s night out every Wednesday she does it anyway and tells her friends that she’s sorry she is going to miss them but that this is really important to her and when it’s over she’ll be back. She creates a plan to handle the situations that come up that will create barriers for her so that when they do come up she can deal with them and move on without letting them get in the way of her goal.
3) 45 year old overweight and out of shape father of 2 who has a job he loves and a family he wants to spend more time with on a regular basis. To meet his goals he sets his alarm for an hour earlier every morning and runs with his son who is on the cross country team. He institutes a no TV rule until all of the homework is done. When he gets home from work they eat together as a family and then he sits down with his daughter and helps her with her math homework.
Two More Important Things To Be Strong
1)He takes off work early when he can to attend his kid’s sporting events and if that means he has to work from home late at night then so be it. He is clear about his priorities and when he has days that he’d rather sleep in than run he simply reminds himself of the 2 most important things in his life right now – his health and his family and he gets himself out the door. This is easy because these 2 things REALLY ARE the most important things to him.
2) 35 year old mom-preneur who has a husband who makes more than enough money for their family to live on quite well. She says growing her business is the most important thing for her this year. Last week while her kids were at school and had all the time she need to work on bringing more clients and money in the door. She called up 5 of her contacts to let them know what was doing and asked for referrals. Created a survey to send to her list to find out who they are. They want and what they would be willing to pay for. As a result of this survey she re-organized some of her offerings and instead of waiting for every single piece to be perfectly in place. Announced what she would be doing to her list and got 3 new paying clients.
3) She contact 3 people who have a similar target market to discuss possible joint venture opportunities. it made a few calls in her local community and secure a speaking spot at an upcoming conference. When people of influence said no she did not let that take her out. Realized her list had no interest in what was creating she didn’t ignore them.
The truth is for some people being busy or being comfortable or always acting in their comfort zone is the most important thing to them. They can say that growing their business, getting in shape or being more present for their family is the most important thing. Rarely act on behalf of those suppose goals. Instead they react to barriers – not enough time, too tired to work out. I had to work late, people don’t want what I have to offer. I don’t know how to do it, etc. They are good at that. Not having enough time is a comfortable place to be. Being too tired to work out is familiar territory. Not knowing how to do something and therefore choosing not to try is safe to be strong.
And as crazy as those barriers may seem to others, they feel like home to the ones who use them. So, the next time you hear yourself saying “I didn’t do this because….” check and see what barrier you site the most. And then ask yourself if it is true that there is a legitimate barrier. It is impossible to achieve the goal or result you want or if in fact it just really wasn’t that important to you after all. Was it real or did it just sound good to say it be strong?